Maccabeats Hamilton parody for Chanukah

First there was Hamalka Purim Parody,
Then, the Hamilton Hagadah…

Now the Maccabeats bring you a parody medley of the Hamilton songs you know and love.

 

So let them tell you…. The Story of The Lights

Pharaoh sings Meghan Trainor’s “No!”

Just for fun, a Pharaoh/Moshe duet through the ten plagues, to the tune of Meghan Trainor’s “No.”

Pharaoh:
I think it’s so cute and I think it’s so sweet
How you let your “god” encourage you to try and talk to me
But let me stop you there, Moe, before you speak

Chorus
Moshe: My God said
Pharaoh: no
M: His sign is
P: no
M: Plagues number
P: no
M: You need to let us go
(You) need to let us go
Need to let us go
Yud to the HEH said
P: no. no, no

[Chorus]

P: First you gonna say you ain’t runnin’ game, thinkin’ I’ll believe in your Lord
Call me tyrannical, so terrible, telling me this new God runs the world
Slaves were building homes before you came along, now I’m thinking maybe you won’t go
Blood, blood, blood, I be like what? build with mud, straw’s a no no no

Second chorus
P:
All my slavies, listen up
If that Moe ain’t giving up
Bake your bricks, but bring your flax
Cause all I’ve got to say is…

[Chorus, 2x with a change in tone]

Pharoah:
Thank you for your work, I may seem a jerk
I don’t care if your frogs all cover me
If you send us lice, magis’ll be surprised
But you’re never per-er-suading me
Egypt’s mine alone, you slaves ain’t going home, didn’t want you to send these animals
God God God, I be like nah to your Yah to the no, no, no

[Second chorus]

[Chorus 2x]

Pharaoh:
Invulnerable, invincible
Uncomfortable, dying animals
I’m Pharaoh, invincible
<music for one beat>
I’m miserable, I’ve got boils
Invulnerable, is that hail?
Untouchable, untouchable
(nah to the Yah to the, no, no, no)

[second chorus]

Moshe:
Ehhhyeh says
You need to let us go
You need to let us go
Need to let us go
Yud to the HEH said
P: no. no, no NO

M: His sign is
P: no
M: Plagues number
P: no
M: You need to let us go
You need to let us go
Need to let us go
Yud to the HEH said
P: no. no, no
Ugh locusts, eating our spoils
I’m Pharaoh, Invincible
It’s dark as oil, Invisble
M:Yud to the HEH said
P: no. no, no

I’m Pharaoh, Invincible
I’m Pharaoh, Invincible
Unthinkable, my baby boy
Ra yields to Yah you must go go gooo

Hamalka Musical… WAIT FOR IT

The full-scale version of HaMalka didn’t quite come together this year. Many of the songs are written, revised, but not recorded or performed. As a teaser, here’s the opening of one of the musical numbers, as sung by Heschel grad, Ziv Stern, in the character of Mordechai. The rest of the musical is happening — Wait for It.

Chainsmokers “Don’t Let Me Down” can be sung by Esther, without change

It’s a wonderful meditation, perfect for her addressing God and also King Achashverosh, before she pleads for her life.

I was forced to Write a Bieber Parody

Ham Un Believer “Hang Yourself”
For all the times that Jews rain on my parade
And all the noise you make abusing my name
You think you broke my heart, oh, Mord for goodness’ sake
You think I’m crying on my own. Well, I ain’t

And I didn’t wanna pass a law
‘Cause I didn’t want anyone thinking I still care. I don’t,
But I’ll still call my goons up
And, Mordie, I be movin’ on
And I think you should kneel prostratin’

I don’t wanna hold back,
Maybe you should know that

My zeresh don’t like you ok she hates everyone
But I never like to admit that I was wrong
And I’ve been so caught up in my job,
But my plan’s what’s going on
And now I know,
I’m better killing everyone

‘Cause if you like the God you love that much
Oh, Mordie, you should go and hang yourself
And if you think that I’m not planning on crushing you
You should go and hang yourself

And when I told you that I hated your friends
The only problem was with you and not them
And every time you told me my opinion was wrong
I tried to quickly forget where I came from

And I didn’t wanna pass a law
‘Cause I didn’t want anyone thinking I still care.

I don’t,
But I’ll still call my goons up
And, baby, I’ll be hangin you
And I think you should be kneelin’

I don’t wanna hold back,
Maybe you should know that

My Zeresh don’t like you ok she hates everyone
But I never like to admit that I was wrong
And I’ve been so caught up in my job,
But my plan’s what’s going on
And now I know,
I’m better killing everyone

‘Cause if you like the God you love that much
Oh, Mordie, you should go and hang yourself
And if you think that I’m not planning on crushing you
You should go and hang yourself

For all the times that you made me feel small
cause God’s above. But I see nothin’ at all
And I feel so glad that you are vulnerable
Cause you’re a fool to let me pass all my laws.

‘Cause if you like the God you love that much
Oh, Mordie, you should go and hang yourself
And if you think that I’m not planning on crushing you
You should go and hang yourself

‘Cause if you like the God you love that much
Oh, Mordie, you should go and hang yourself

And if you think (you think) that I’m (that I’m) not planning on ( planning on) crushing you
You should go and hang yourself

#HaMalkaMusical is coming….

Esther Hamalka draft, to the tune of Hamilton Musical’s “Alexander Hamilton”)

1:
How does a woman, orphan of refugees from war
and Benyamin
driven from the middle of a forgotten spot in the mediterranean
by Providence desecrated, find valor
Grow up to be a hero and a ruler?

2:
Almost martyr adopted daughter born Hadassah
Got a lot farther though workin’ under cover
By bein’ a lot smarter
By bein’ a shot caller
As the queen, she saved the Jews from impending slaughter

4
And on a day once slaves were taking part in a party that displayed on silver trays
goods smuggled amid sacred gold cups
Inside they were crying the schechina had departed
Queen Vashti refused to yield, and the king ordered her locked up

5:
Then the beauty pageant came, draining women from the domain
Our man saw his daughter stripped, leaving only pain
Put aside tears about his temple, considered all this with his brain
And he rode to see if God remained, in secret holding the reins

6:
Well the girl got to town, they said, this may seem insane miss
Stuck her in salad dressing, just to prep her as the king’s dish
“Love your clear complexion, can’t quite tell from whence you came, but
The world’s gonna know your name! What’s your name, miss?”

7:[Esther]
(It’s) Esther Hamalka
My name is (now) Esther Hamalka
And there’s a million things I can’t *let on*                *tell ya to match malka?
But just you wait, just you wait

8:
When she was young, her father broke, lost his hope, God hidden
Few years later, see dad and her mother’s big decision
Half-dead, depressed and home sick
descent quick

COMPANY:
Hadassah had beauty but her folks didn’t see it

9:
Moved in with an uncle, the man we know as Mordechai
Left her uncertain but with Jewish pride, somethin’ new inside
A voice saying “(Dasi) you gotta fend for yourself”
She started retreatin’ and conceivin’ a new identity for herself .

10:
There would’ve been nothin’ left to do
For a woman less cute
She would’ve been wife or prostitute
Without a chance for revolution
Started fasting, prepping for her date w/ Persia’s new lord
Charming Chamberlains and staff,  helping her grow self-assured.
(learning) most every trick she can set her eyes on
(Plannin’) for a future, see her now as she tries on (oooh)
The crown of a king begging her to be wife

In shushan you can start a new life

COMPANY and (HAMILTON):
In Shushan you can start a new life (Just you wait)
In Shushan you can be a king’s wife (Just you wait)
(Esther, quietly In Shushan I won’t be recognized (company Just you wait))

WOMEN:
In Shushan

MEN:
Shushan

Esther:
Just you wait

Esther Hamalka*   (*Esther or Haddasah)
Esther Hamalka
We are waiting in the songs for you  
You saved us with that crown, your power revealed at the right tiiime
oh esther hamalkah
esther hamalka
Megillah sings of you
Do they know what you overcame
will they know you changed your name
Persia will never be the same
Start of chodesh adar now, see if you can marbim
another narrative, salvation won’t be forgotten
Our enemies destroyed our rep
Hamalka she fought em
We prayed with her
me i taught Esther
me i backed her
me i loved her
and me, I’m the damn fool that got hung
there’s a million things I can’t let on
but just you wait
what’s you name miss?
Esther Hamalka

The Battle of Shushan, draft (after Hamilton Musical’s Battle of Yorktown)

COMPANY:

The battle of Shusan. Esther, Chapter 9

[Esther]
My dear royal one

[Achashverosh:]
My love what’s next?

[Esther]
The fighting’s just begun

[Achashverosh:]
It’s a day of death
So many will be killed. Starting with Haman.

[Esther
:]

Enemies!

[Esther
/Achashverosh*]                          Mordechai?

We’ll get evry one

[Achashverosh:]

So what happens once you win?

[Esther]
We’ll have a day of feast
Giving freedom to all people from the greatest to the least

[Achashverosh:]

I’ll be with you when you do

[Esther:]

Those parties don’t end

[Mordechai:]

See you on the other side

[All:]
‘Til we meet again, let’s go!

ENSEMBLE:

I am not throwin’ away my sword!

I am not throwin’ away my sword!

Hey yo, I’m just like the Jewry, fight(ing) with philosemitic fury

And I’m not throwin’ away my sword

I am not throwin’ away my sword!

[Esther:]

‘Til the world turns upside down…

ENSEMBLE:

‘Til the world turns upside down!

[Mordechai:]

I observed death so much it felt like our destiny

This is where it’s ending: on my feet

Amalekites ahead of me

If this is the end of me, at least I’m rewriting history

Weapon in our hands, a command, and my men with me

Then I remember Hadassah’s expecting me

Not only that, my Dasi’s expecting

We gotta go, gotta get the job done

Gonna resettle our nation, with the emperor’s son!

Take no booty anyone

ENSEMBLE:

What?

[Mordechai:
l
Take no booty anyone

ENSEMBLE:

What?

HAMILTON:

We move by  command of emperor and holy one

Jews have rights, Persia’s laws say, at least for the day
We are permitted to fight, not just fast, hope, and pray
We will fight our foes, seize the moment and stay in it

And any wars spoils, God’s command forbids claim on it.

The code word is ‘King Sha’ul,’ dig me?

ENSEMBLE:

King Sh’aul!

[Mordechai]
You have your orders now, go, man, go!

And so a diaspora experiment begins

With our nation all scattered to the winds

Esther is in the king’s inner chamber, redefining flatt’ry* flirting with diplomacy

[Esther]

No chill with me until (we kill our)* enemies          *shushan’s free of enemies

HAMILTON:

When other cities stop, enemies slain

Hadassah is there waiting—

[Esther to King:]
We need another day

[Mordechai]:

How did we know that this plan would work?

We had help from the other side, that’s right

[Mordechai/COMPANY:]

Hashem Tzevaot

[Prophet Jeremiah, voiceover or ghostly]
Prophet foretellin’ exilic years are spent

I foretold the punishment, salvation, and now I reveal it.

COMPANY:

Up

[Jeremiah or Mordechai]:

For my nation’s extraordinary covenant

God works behind the scenes for Liberty and we’re observing it

See, that’s what happens when you up against the Judeans

We in God’s storm now, the wicked get some pummeling

Hashem ish Milchama, He needs no introduction

When Israel is down He lifts them way back up again!

COMPANY:

Fast! Pray! Fight!

Go!

What! What! What!

[King]:

Another day of fighting, 11 aggagites hang from the gallows.

[Esther]

We thank our God as we understand we barely survived genocide

[Mordechai]
And just like that, it’s over. We tend to our wounded, we count our dead

[Esther]:

Jew and gentiles wonder alike if this really means complete freedom

[King:]

Tax Hike

HAMILTON:

We prevent anyone from taking plunder
I see Esther Hamalkah smile

We clear the bodies out of Shushan

We pray the peace lasts a while

Tens of thousands of people flood the streets

As a dreamer I hear Zion’s bells ringing

And as our fallen foes retreat

I hear the drinking song they’re singing…

ALL MEN:

The world turned upside down

FULL COMPANY:

The world turned upside down

The world turned upside down

The world turned upside down

Down

Down, down, down

Mordechai:

Freedom in Medea, freedom for Jews!

COMPANY:

Down, down, down

[King/Esther:]
Gotta restart my nation

Gotta meet my son

COMPANY:

Down, down, down

[Jews:]
We won!

[Philosemites]
We won!

We won!

We won!

COMPANY:

The world turned upside down!

In honor of Yitro, a past favorite Happy Har Sinai

Numbers 32 to Selena Gomez’s Same Old Love

Tags

Chumash, Jewish, parody

Build up your towns and go
You can’t take back what you said, you know
We’ve been through all this before, at least a million times
God’s not one to forget, you know

Don’t you believe, why not believe in
God’s war and peace, Canaan in pieces
Too hard to leave, you want to live
Right here, woe

I’m so sick. where’s brotherly love? that’s it, ahm’s tearing up
Answer quick when push comes to shove, are you hanging tough?
Oh, (brotherly love)
Oh, (Yisrael love)

I’m so sick. where’s brotherly love? feels like ahm’s pulling apart
I’m so sick. where’s brotherly love? God hears and vayichar af
Oh, (brotherly love)
Oh, (Yisrael  love)

We’re not wasting any time, we’ll invade Canaan with you
I know, you’ve heard it all
But please just try and change your mind
‘Cause we will be fighting too, you know
You don’t believe, still can’t believe it
Until there’s peace and Canaan we seize, it’s
farm for our sheep, We’re on our knees
Right now, ‘ow

I’m so sick. where’s brotherly love? that’s it, ahm’s tearing up
Answer quick when push comes to shove, are you hanging tough?
Oh, (brotherly love)
Oh, (Yisrael love)
I’m so sick. where’s brotherly love? feels like ahm’s pulling apart

I’m so sick. where’s brotherly love? God hears and vayichar af
Oh, (brotherly love)
Oh, (Yisrael love)

I’m so sick of this, oh where is the love?
We’ll be quick with it, crush Canaan soon enough
Yisrael, rejecting it? No, we’re showing love
Yisrael, rejecting it? We need space for stuff

I’m so sick. where’s brotherly love? that’s it, ahm’s tearing up
Answer quick when push comes to shove, are you hanging tough?
Oh, (brotherly love)
Oh, (Yisrael love)
I’m so sick. where’s brotherly love? feels like ahm’s pulling apart
I’m so sick. where’s brotherly love? God hears and vayichar af
Oh, (brotherly love)
 Oh, (Yisrael  love)